Top 5 Reasons Your Friends Make Lousy Wedding Officiants

Your wedding day should be special. We get that you want a personal wedding ceremony. We get that you want your friends and family to be involved because it makes for a more personal experience. We get that you want to save money. In spite of those reasons, your friends and family (unless they are a minister or judge already) will most likely make a lousy wedding officiant for your special day. Here is why, in no particular order:

  1. They don’t understand the procedures for getting and filing a marriage license. Wisconsin requires a marriage license to be applied for and filed in a particular way in order to make your marriage legal. Your friends and family probably don’t know the system and understand it. Instead hire someone who has been working with that system for years.
  2. Friends and family are normally not public speakers. I am not saying that we are perfect, and we are not. But, we do have experience speaking in public and that means that we have experience dealing with the unexpected; like the flower girl who punches the ring bearer as they come down the aisle or the rainbow that suddenly appears over your wedding ceremony. An experienced wedding officiant will be able to handle those little unexpected moments and make them into a fun, positive memory rather than the opposite.
  3. Your friends and family may know you best but do you really want them to reveal what they know on your wedding day? At your wedding you are going to have a guest list that includes all sorts of people from your life from grandma to your boss (maybe) to distant relatives. Do you want your best friend to reveal to them some embarrassing story from your past? Probably not. An experienced wedding officiant will ask you questions and tell stories that are appropriate for all your guests. Save those other stories for sharing with a group that will appreciate them and not shock grandma.
  4. Do your friends and family know what Wisconsin requires in order to have a wedding ceremony be deemed legal in the state? Probably not. But an experience wedding officiant will know and will tell you exactly what you need to include in your wedding ceremony. Additionally, an experience wedding officiant will have a ceremony that flows nicely from one element to the next. 2011-06-18_00001
  5. Lastly, do your friends and family know what all the parts in a wedding ceremony are used for? Why do we have readings? Why do we say vows? Why do we exchange rings? And a million other details go into a wedding ceremony. An experienced wedding officiant will go over all those details with you and ensure that your wedding ceremony is the exact experience you would like.

Of course we would like to have your friends and family be involved, since that does add to the personal experience of your wedding. Ask them to recite a reading or say a prayer. They will be just as honored that you want them to be a part of your day without the pressures to do a job that they may not fully understand and may even overwhelm them.

For a personal wedding ceremony, call Rev. Kelly and Rev. Zita at 800-490-0221 and let them help you create the perfect wedding ceremony for you.


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2 Responses to “Top 5 Reasons Your Friends Make Lousy Wedding Officiants”


  • Comment from Brenda M. Owen Wedding Officiant, Minister

    Wonderful blog post Rev. Kelly & Rev. Zita. I could not agree more though I don’t know about Wisconsin marriage law as I am in SC! Thank you for sharing. Brenda M. Owen Wedding Officiant & Minister – Greenville, South Carolina – http://WeddingWoman.net ~

    • Comment from revkelly

      Of course, but I am sure that you are well versed in SC law. :) And we wouldn’t know that either. It is a matter of location.

      So glad that you enjoyed the post and please feel free to share it.


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