Something has gone wrong! Comfort for the Bride

UFO Danger sign

It’s January and a lot of weddings are in the very early planning stages. You’ve booked your reception hall and chosen the colors and flowers, or maybe you are farther along than that and have most of the major planning already done. If so I salute you, you master organizer, you!

Whether you are nearly done with the planning and are just waiting on the execution of those plans, or you are still trying to find the perfect spot to say your vows, there is something you absolutely must be aware of…

Something will go wrong.

Take a deep breath, all you Brides out there, and relax. I am not trying to scare you; I am just making you aware of possibilities.  From Mothers-in Law that are ready to stage a cage match to Bridesmaids who need their iphone surgically removed before the ceremony, it’s the people that will really make your day, one way or another.

The Best Man may lose the rings or someone might lose a bouquet before pictures are taken. Grandma forgot to change the batteries in her hearing aid and keeps yelling ‘what did he say?’ during the service. A flower girl panics at all the people staring at her and refuses to go down the aisle. Someone’s tux pants split, a gust of wind flips a hemline higher than is decent, yada, yada, yada.

I’m not being all doom and gloom, here, I’m just being practical. As a wedding officiate, I have been to a LOT of weddings, and only a few have gone off without a hitch of one kind or another.  My Grandmother had a saying: ‘Hope for the best, plan for the worst, and you generally will get something in between’.

So how do you deal with the crises that will inevitably happen on your perfect day? Well, Grasshopper, listen closely and I will tell you.

First of all, be cool. Yes, it is upsetting, but smile and keep going and most folks won’t even know that something has gone wrong until you tell them.

Secondly, is this something for which you had a contingency plan in place? Weather, missing musicians, the power has gone out, etc. are all easily countered: head for the backup location, plug in the Ipod with the wedding playlist that your Maid of Honor is carrying and have everyone hold up their phone like at a concert, it’s awesome!

See? You can do this. It’s not so bad.

And thirdly: Delegate!

This is the mantra you must have in your head. No matter what happens, be it storm, fire or flood, you are a competent, intelligent person and you had the good sense to assign someone else to deal with all this crap! Whether it is the Maid of Honor or your wedding planner, on the day of the wedding it is not your job to solve a problem. It is theirs.

They can sell tickets to the MIL’s death match, get the groomsman another pair of pants, and bully, intimidate, threaten or blackmail any other problems into submission. Not you, since you are the bride and it is your job to marry the person you love and be beautiful. End of story.

Attitude is everything, and if you take the view that a few slip-ups here and there will only make your wedding memorable, that is exactly what it will do. Instead of a viral disaster video on YouTube, you can have a memory that will make you laugh in a good way. So my advice is to plan for those disasters and accept that they will happen, relax and enjoy the day, no matter what happens. So my advice is to plan for those disasters and accept that they will happen. You’re getting married and that is the most important thing.

Rev. Zita.

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