Beware the Bridezilla!: The wrong way to be memorable.


Central Wisconsin is a wonderful place to get married. We have gorgeous locations, great food, lovely Brides, handsome Grooms, cultural diversity, a long history and fun music. Just like anywhere else, a Wisconsin Bride wants things to be perfect on the biggest day of her adult life. The only problem is that perfection doesn’t always happen the way we hoped it would.

The Bridezilla is a cliché that is all too familiar these days. Demanding Brides are nothing new. They are a challenge for ministers, caterers and event planners alike, not to mention family members. With the Royal Wedding this weekend, I’m sure there will be a few imitators for the next couple of years who want their fairytale made real.

Fairytales are not real, and every event has problems. Accidents happen, mistakes are made, even by the most seasoned of professionals.

You can plan your wedding with the precision of a military campaign, but the truth is that something wil go wrong.  The  five-year-old flower girl will suddenly turn halfway down the aisle and punch the ring bearer (yes, this has happened) or the ring bearer is growling at the guests because he thinks he is the ‘ring Bear’. Caterers bring the wrong food, flowers wilt in unexpected heat, and servers drop dishes. Guests get drunk and try to do obscure Russian folk dances on weak tables. Elderly relatives will loudly recall embarrassing things from your life for all to hear. Grooms faint, candles set veils on fire, etc.

Memories of your wedding should be filled with laughter and pleasure, from good jokes to Uncle Bob’s bad attempt to revive disco; your first dance with your new husband and the smiling faces of your friends and family. Torn hems on gowns and even the fistfight when you threw the bouquet should be brushed off as something minor. The Groom’s Ex shows up, ready to fight? Piffle. It’s not a real problem. If you want to be nasty, thank her sweetly for coming and she can leave her gift on the table. When she turns ugly, have the ushers remove her and go dance with your husband.

Your reactions will make the difference between being the next viral disaster video on YouTube or everyone laughing and moving on with a fun evening. You can scream, cry, cuss, and generally throw a fit to make a toddler proud, if that’s what you want. It will ruin your makeup and accomplish nothing in the long run.

The reality is how your guests remember you is entirely dependent on how you react to these problems. Will you be gracious and have a sense of humor? If someone gives an inappropriate toast, will you shriek at him and disrupt your own reception? Or will you thank him and ignore it? Your reaction is the one the guests are watching, since you are the center of attention at the wedding.

You are the Bride. Not the Bridezilla. No matter how hard it is, if you keep a sense of humor things can be laughed off instead of collapsing around your ears. Bridezillas have disasters, Brides have fun. Be the Bride.

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